Castles In The Sky
by gooseles
Summary: Naley Fic...takes place after college. Tragedy forces Nathan to rebuild his life and in the process, he rebuilds Haley's as well. (Completed)
1. Cheesecake and Cappucino

Nathan Scott walked into the tiny cafe and assumed the seat that had been his favorite booth for the last seven or so years. Worry lines and a tired smile loomed over his still handsome face as he took out his wallet and smoothed back his dark hair.

"Can I get a menu, please, Haley?"

Haley James smiled and wiped her hands on the back of her apron. She had been in love with that man ever since she was fifteen years old. Every single word he mouthed, every look he gave her absolutely made her shudder.

"You've been coming in here every day that you've been home since we were in the eleventh grade. That's what, seven, eight years now? Every single time you sit in the same place, ask to see the menu, and you end up ordering the same thing. The variety hasn't changed since then and not that that even matters because you always get the strawberry cheesecake and an iced cappuccino."

"Maybe I want to try something different this time", he winked. "Menu please?"

Haley shook her head and handed him the plain brown cover that enveloped the menu. The once white pages had faded to yellow and the cover was always sticky with syrup or some kind of substance. Haley watched as Nathan's blue eyes scanned the contents of the menu.

"Thanks, Haley. I'll have the strawberry cheesecake and also an iced cappuccino, please."

She grinned as she yanked it back from him and retreated to the kitchen where Karen Roe was slaving over the next batch of yummy pastries.

"Order up, Karen. Strawberry cheesecake. I'll take care of the cappuccino."

"Let me guess...Nathan", Karen smiled. "Boy's been ordering the same damn thing since the first day he ever set foot in here. One day we should surprise him with something else. Maybe the cherry cheesecake.

Haley laughed at the older woman as she took special care in preparing Nathan's drink. They had grown up together in tiny Tree Hill, North Carolina. They had attended the same schools and the same church and in a town as small as theirs, everybody knew everybody. Karen was the mother of Haley's best friend, Lucas Scott and for the majority of her teen years, Karen had been like a second mom to Haley. Lucas just so happened to be the half brother of Nathan. It was a long complicated story dating back to Karen's high school years and her then sweetheart, the rich, successful yet dastardly Dan Scott. The handsome basketball star had left her behind, alone and pregnant and just a few months later, his new college love, Deb was pregnant as well. It had been a rocky relationship from the start, which only escalated into the teenage years when the two brothers both played for Tree Hill High School's Ravens. Both had inherited their father's superiority on the court and Nathan had unfortunately inherited his attitude and devious ways. Through a long list of angst and drama, the two men had somehow been able to develop a common bond and a friendship began. Both attended and started for Duke University and after graduation were both first round NBA draft picks, Lucas for the Atlanta Hawks and Nathan for the Charlotte Bobcats.

Haley had began working at the cafe as soon as she turned fourteen and even so many years after high school, it was not an uncommon sight to find Tree Hill's favorite brothers dining in their usual booth. Ever since Haley could remember, Lucas had always been there for her as a protector, friend and confidant. She had interacted with Nathan much later on, starting off as his sophomore tutor. There had always been an underlying attraction but Haley had suppressed any and all romantic feelings because of fear of rejection and mainly because of Peyton Sawyer, Nathan's gorgeous girlfriend.

Still Haley, like the whole town, was proud of the hometown boys. Their dream had been a long shot and they had all certainly come along way from shooting baskets into homemade hoops in the back yard. Haley had dreams of her own. She had longed to get out of Tree Hill, go to college and get a glamorous job in a big city. But fate had dealt her another card. There was no money for college and although she had been out of high school for five years, it seemed sometimes that she might never get out of that house...that cafe...that town.

"Here you go, Nate. Strawberry cheesecake and iced cappuccino. Extra berries and syrup just the way you like it."

"Thanks", he said in between big mouthfuls.

She left him to his dessert and silently bumbled about behind the register. She had spent many a day just watching him, wondering if he knew she was looking. He was so beautiful, so wonderful and she had loved him ever since they were kids, even when he was just a skinny old thing, all arms and legs and big blue eyes. But how he had grown and developed into a muscular, handsome man. Haley had watched from afar as he built his beautiful new home, tooled around the back roads in fancy sports cars, and raced along the countryside on dirt bikes and motorcycles. On and off from the time they were middle schoolers, Peyton was Nate's usual company. Blonde, blue eyed, and an hour glass figure, she had been the toast of the town. Outstanding athlete, captain of the cheerleading squad, honor roll student, and daughter of one of the richest families in the county. Peyton was the girl every guy wanted and every other girl wanted to be. The couple had been through their trials and tribulations, break ups and affairs but their love had endured over the years. Then IT had happened, shocking everyone around. A devastating dose of reality that had been the subject of everyone's thoughts, gossiping whispers, and prayers. The one thing most definitely responsible for the sad, tired expression that seemed to now be permanently plastered onto Nathan's face.

"Well, thanks for everything, Haley", Nathan said, stretching as his perfectly tanned muscles threatened the confines of his wife beater tee shirt. "It was delicious as always. I guess I'll see you next week."

He left the six dollars for the food on the table along with a more than generous ten dollar tip, something he made a habit of after hitting it big in the NBA. As she bussed the table she watched from the window as he slid into his new, black Mustang and roared away, the sound of a Marilyn Manson CD blasting as he left a trail of dust.


	2. Ricky and Cindy

"Come on, baby, don't die on me yet. Just a few more feet...", Haley begged her 1994 Toyota.

With a sickening grunt and a puff of smoke it made it into the driveway. Thank you, she whispered silently to no one in particular. She removed the key from the ignition and rubbed the aching muscles around her neck. Another day in paradise, she thought to herself with a groan as she made her way home. The concrete steps creaked underneath her 115 pound frame and she fumbled with the key in the door. She opened it and was greeted by the smell of stale smoke. The TV was on but so was the radio as an old Hank Williams Jr. song blasted in the background. It smelled funny, a cross between old food and cigarette smoke. No matter how many times Haley had cleaned that place spic and span, somehow by the time she returned home it was always cluttered again and she would have to end up kicking a trail from the living room to her bedroom.

"Mama, you okay?" Haley asked as she saw her mother lying face down on the sofa. "Mama, come on. Get up. Sit up for me, please."

Cindy James dragged herself to a sitting position and rubbed her eyes as she blindly reached for her cigarette pack.

"Hey, darlin'. What time did you get home? I was just taking a little nap, didn't even hear you drive up."

The smell of hard liquor hit Haley square in the nose. She couldn't even remember a time coming home after her parents' divorce where her mother hadn't smelled like a brewery.

"Did you eat yet, Mama? I can fix you a..."

"I didn't eat yet", said a voice from coming from the master bedroom. "I'm real hungry. What are you gonna fix me to eat?"

Haley sighed and put a protective arm around her mother. After her father left, she had seen some characters in the form of her mother's boyfriends but Ricky took the cake. They had been together for almost a year and he was practically already moved in. Every time she looked at his roving, sneering eyes, it was hard to escape that sickening feeling that formed in the pit of her stomach.

"Ricky, hey, baby", Cindy grinned as she laid a big kiss on her lover's lips. "I missed you."

"And I missed you, too. How about a kiss for your old man?" he asked, arms outstretched and his lips curled into a smirk.

He came closer and Haley quickly backed away, just enough to avoid him but still mask her growing fear of him.

"You are not my old man", she said in a quiet but firm voice.

She retreated to the kitchen and whipped up a couple grilled cheese sandwiches. As much as her mother drank it did make Haley feel a little better to know that she had some food in her stomach.

"Here, Mama", she said, placing the plate down. "I'm going to bed. Knock if you need me."

Without waiting for a response, Haley made her way to her bedroom, closing and locking the door behind her. Throwing all the stuffed animals and dolls off the bed, she sank down relishing the first time she had been off her feet all day. Feeling something underneath her she rolled over and quickly picked up the white business sized envelopes. There were bills and although she had only recently started to pay them, she had been writing them out for her mother for the longest time. A worried frown crossed her face as she made notations on the calculator. Pretty soon Cindy's unemployment check would run out and there weren't enough miracles in the world to make Ricky go out and get a job. One day at a time, she breathed, a scowl forming on her pretty face as a familiar odor seeped up into her nostrils. An asthmatic since birth, Haley had always been sensitive to cigarette smoke. Not that that had ever stopped her mother before from smoking in the house or even when she was pregnant with her. And ever since Ricky had come into the picture, marijuana smoke had been added to the fumes from the Marlboro Reds. Stuffing a towel under the crack of the door, she quickly slipped out of her jeans and tee shirt and changed into comfortable bedclothes. She was tired and not just the physical exhaustion from working hard all day. She was mentally and emotionally worn out from her life and the only thing to do was to go to bed and wake up the next morning only to repeat the same old suffocating routine.

"Now I lay me down to sleep, I praise the Lord my soul to keep. If I shall die before I wake, I praise the Lord my soul to take. God bless Mama and Pop and Granny. Bless my family and my friends. Bless everyone. Amen."

After praying on her knees as she always did before bed, Haley stood and turned back the covers. Slipping into the comfort of her bed since childhood, she turned and faced the wall. A small smile crept to her lips as the moonlight shone in and she could stare up at the visible and perfect face of Nathan Scott. When he had first debuted in the NBA along with his brother, she had purchased a Sports Illustrated magazine that was featuring an article on the duo. There had been a beautiful and perfect picture of the guys and she had cut it out and taped it to the wall. Now in a sense she got to sleep with Nathan every night. The very thought made her melt as she wondered what that might be like in real life. Surely Peyton Sawyer must have known. It was a rumor that Nathan had taken her virginity freshman year and seeing the exclusive couple that they were, Haley had not been the least surprised. A little envious perhaps but not surprised. She grinned again as she often had when she laid in bed awake thinking about Nathan or what it would be like to be his girl. Then her thoughts drifted back to Peyton. Peyton really was a nice girl and she, like no one, deserved what had happened to her. Haley felt bad for what the girl was going through and even worse for Nathan whom she knew loved her so much. Sometimes life just wasn't fair.

"God bless Peyton", Haley quickly added as her eye lids grew heavy and took her to dream land.


	3. Peyton

Nathan got out of his car and knocked on the door. Never mind that he had just returned from the Raleigh airport. Never mind that he had just played three games straight with an injury. Never mind that he hadn't even gone to his house yet to unpack his luggage. Never mind how hurt or tired he felt. The only thing that mattered was Peyton. He had to see her.

"Nathan, hi, son. You look tired."

"I'm alright, Mr. Sawyer. How's Peyton?"

A dismal look appeared on the older man's face as he quickly avoided the young man's gaze.

"Weak", he answered.

"I have to see her", he responded, heading up the stairs before he could protest.

He nervously opened the bedroom door that he knew was hers. Certain things about that room were so happy, so familiar. He'd had so many fond memories right in that very room. They had had so many heart to heart talks there. It was there when they first professed their love to one another. It was there that they had spent many a summer day watching television or listening to music or just being goofy. It was there in that very room, that very bed where Peyton had lost her precious virginity to him. And now standing in a place that had represented such joy, that held such nostalgia, he stared down at that same bed where Peyton Sawyer, 23, now lay dying.

"Pey?" he whispered.

She opened a set of eyes it was hard to recognize. Her once evenly tanned skin was now a clammy and pasty white. Her once full, gorgeous blonde hair was now thin and ragged and falling out in clumps on the pillow on which she lay. And her eyes, those pretty eyes once so full of life were now hollow and streaked with tears that had long ago been shed.

"Nate...", she managed.

"That's right, baby. It's me. I'm here. You don't have to say anything."

He lovingly stroked her cheek and placed a kiss on her forehead. She tried to utter words but only a hard and whooping cough came out. Nathan quickly poured her some water and helped steady the cup in her hands as she drank.

"You okay, baby? Want some more?"

"What are you doing here, Nate?"

"I just got back from a game in Cleveland. I flew in earlier. I missed you and I wanted to check on you."

"I asked you not to come here anymore."

It nearly killed him to see her in so much agony.

"I won't stay away", he replied in a wavering voice. "It's not fair to keep me away. I love you too much, Pey."

"You don't love me."

"Yes. Yes, I do. Since I was a kid. And I will...forever."

"It's not the same", Peyton said in a scratchy voice. "You can't come here anymore. It's not good...for either of us."

"Why?" he asked, beginning to tear up. "Don't say that, Peyton. It hurts me when you say stuff like that."

"And it hurts me when you see me like this. Look at me, Nate. Really look at me and not with those rose colored glasses you've taken to wearing. I am not that girl you fell in love with."

"Yes, you are. Honey..."

"Look at me", she began to sob.

She loosened the bandana that had been tied securely over her head. Her hair had fallen out in patches.

"...I look like a monster."

"You're beautiful. You are still beautiful to me..."

She shook her head. If only he knew just how much it was hurting her too. She was slipping away and she knew it. It wasn't fair how this stupid thing called Leukemia had come in and robbed her of her looks and in the end her life. She's never get the chance to really live, to get married and have a career and babies. Nathan had asked her several times but she had declined and eventually banned him from visiting. She didn't need his pity or patronization. Deep down she did realize how much he loved her but that only made things worse. In the end that would only make it harder.

"Please...go."

"Peyton..."

"Nathan, leave."

"No."

"If you love me, if you really love me then you will just stop. Please."

He bowed his head and let a tear cascade down his face. It was no use. Maybe tomorrow she would feel better and let him visit. Maybe there would be no tomorrow. Not wanting to aggravate the situation anymore, he kissed her hand once more and left the room, softly closing the door behind him.

"I'm sorry, Nathan. Peyton just..."

"It's okay, Mr. Sawyer, really. I understand how sick she is. You don't have to explain."

Mr. Sawyer put a sympathetic arm around the boy's shoulder. Nathan nodded good bye and went back to his car. His intention was to crank up and drive right home and get the rest his body so needed and deserved. But he couldn't. It was impossible to make himself move. It hurt too much, a pain deeper than any physical thing he had ever felt before. All he could do was sit and wonder and think. All he could do was sit behind that wheel and let the tears fall.


	4. Hold The Cherries

Haley ran her hands underneath the running faucet and splashed her face with water. It was hot. Another rough Carolina summer and the temperature was up and rising well into the nineties. Business for the day had been rather slow, not even the local regulars coming in for their usual. Haley jumped with delight when she heard the unmistakable roar of Nathan's Mustang. She quickly straightened herself up to a more presentable state. She had just enough time to smooth her hair and apply a coat of lip gloss. It seemed like it took all the strength Nathan could muster for him to push open the door. He looked worn, even more tired than usual. He dragged to his favorite seat and slumped down in it, positioning his backwards turned black cap. He wore the usual baggy jeans and a black tee shirt that had PORN STAR printed in huge silver letters. Haley approached him with her usual smile, placing the menu down in front of him. He barely acknowledged her presence as his eyes skimmed it.

"Strawberry cheesecake and..."

"...iced cappuccino. I know, I know."

He gave her an aloof smile as she scurried to the back to prepare it for him. Feeling a bit playful, at the last moment she decided follow Karen's advice and serve him the cherry cheesecake. Smiling with a plate in one hand and the drink in the other, she walked over to his table.

"Here you go", she said with a usual smile.

He thanked her without even looking at her face. Picking the fork up, he bit into it his dessert heartily and Haley giggled as she saw the recognition in his eyes and the scowl forming across his face.

"Surprise", she grinned. "I just thought you might like to try something new after all these years. Not much, but we do have other things on the menu, you know."

Quickly wiping his mouth, Nathan dropped the cake back onto the plate.

"Jesus Christ, that's not funny, Haley!"

There was no hint of amusement on his face.

"I'm sorry, I..."

"I ordered the strawberry cheesecake. Strawberry cheesecake! That is the same goddamned thing I've been ordering in this place since I was in high school. Is it too much to ask to have you get my order right? Jesus!"

She literally jumped at the sound of him raising his voice. A harmless little prank had escalated way out of hand and her intention was never to make him angry.

"I...I'm sorry, Nathan. I was just having a little fun. I'll get you your strawberry right away."

"Never mind", he muttered, standing up abruptly and stalking out.

He tossed a couple of loose bills on the table before storming to his car and hauling out of the parking lot. Haley could only stand there feeling hurt and embarrassed.

"Everything okay out here?" Karen asked as she emerged from the back. "I heard what happened."

"I was just joking, Karen, honest. I didn't know he'd react like that", Haley whispered, tears stinging her brown eyes.

"Wow. Guess the boy just doesn't like cherries", Karen shrugged as Haley rushed to the back in tears.

* * *

Haley hummed to herself as she wiped down the last of the tables. Dark had already fallen and Karen had already left for home. The work was done but it was no use going back home just yet. What was the point? It was so cold and lonely and empty there. Besides, either her mother would be passed out or making out with Ricky and those were two sights she couldn't stand to see anymore. She would rather stay at the cafe where she could be alone lost in thought, so lost in thought that she didn't even hear the car pull up or see the blinding head lights shining inside. The tap at the window frightened her.

"Nathan...is that you?"

"Yeah. Can I come in, Haley? I want to talk to you."

She turned the key and opened the door letting him in.

"Hi", she stammered.

"Hey."

"Um, I'm real sorry about earlier. You know, the strawberry cherry thing. That was a stupid trick."

"No, that's what I came here to talk to you about actually. You don't have anything to be sorry about. It's me. I'm the one who owes you an apology. I completely blew up over nothing and that's wrong."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not okay to go off on you like that. You didn't do anything. I've just got a lot of other stuff on my mind. It has nothing to do with you and it's not fair for me to take it out on you. I'm sorry."

"Stuff about Peyton, you mean?"

The words escaped her mouth before her brain could control them. A wave of sadness washed over Nathan's face.

"Yeah...stuff about Peyton."

"How is she? I mean..."

"Not good. She's really sick...weak."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Me too. It's hard. It really sucks to see someone you love like that."

"You want to talk? I mean, you could sit down and have a cup of coffee and stuff."

"Nah. I mean, thanks but maybe some other time. I'm kind of tired and I really need to sleep. Big game this week with the New Orleans Hornets and I have to fly out tomorrow."

"Oh", she said quietly. "Well, if you have to go..."

"I do. I just wanted to come by and apologize for acting like an ass earlier. I was out driving around and saw the lights on in here."

"I'm glad you stopped by. Thank you."

He nodded and half smiled. "I'll see you in a few days. I'll come by for my usual."

"No cherries", Haley grinned.

"Definitely no cherries", he winked as the door shut behind him.


	5. Two Brothers

Hot damn, I got another one!" Lucas Scott yelled with a laugh.

He reeled his line in and sure enough there was a fish attached to the hook.

"You're 0 for 3, Natey boy. You better get your ass on the ball."

"What, man?" Nathan asked, suddenly jolted back into reality.

"It helps if you actually use bait, dude. That's the point of fishing, to actually catch fish", Lucas laughed.

Nathan managed a meek smile and adjusted his sitting position on the dock. It was so beautiful out there over looking the lake. That place like so many others harbored years of memories. As far back as he could remember, that lake and that dock had always been a significant part of his life. He had been there many times with Lucas and Tim and other friends. His father had taught him to swim in that lake. His family had held picnics and reunions there. It had been a place where he had always felt such joy and comfort. Now it was a place where he had felt the loneliness and saddest in his whole life.

"Sorry, bro. I guess I'm kind of out of it."

Lucas put down his pole and petted his German Shepherd, Knight. It was tough to see Nathan going through hard times. He had hoped a nice day of brotherly male bonding at the lake would wash away all the pain even if just for a day. Instantly he knew he was wrong and how could he blame Nathan?

"You want to talk about it?"

"No. That's just the thing, Luke. I know everybody is just trying to help. Everyone wants to know if I want to talk about it. I do and then at the same time I don't. It's crazy, man. It's like I have so much going for me and then at the same time it's like everything is fucked up. It hurts and it's hard and I don't know how to deal with it."

"I know", Lucas sighed. "And honestly, I don't know what to say. I'm no psychiatrist or anything, I'm just your friend and your big brother. You know I'll stick with you through anything man and I wish there was something I could do. I can't imagine what you're going through. It must suck. I mean if it were me losing Brooke...man, I don't know what I'd do. I don't know how I'd handle it. I kind of feel like a hypocrite trying to tell you everything is gonna be okay. It's not gonna be okay, not for you and especially not for Peyton. But you'll get through it, man. And it might sound stupid or cliché but she'll be in a far better place where she won't have to suffer or be sick. And no matter what, she will always be with you."

"I know. That's what's in my head but my heart just won't get the message. I want her here. I want her to be okay."

"I know. We all do."

"I just keep thinking what a special part of my life she is. We've been together since we were kids. She was there in the beginning before all the contracts and TV stuff and fans. Pey was there when I was just the arrogant son of a bitch trying to live up to the impossible expectations of Dan Scott. Even though we're not together now and weren't when she got sick, I know a part of me thought that in the end we would get it together. You know? Forget the money and the hype and the groupies. We would end up married with kids and stuff. And now that won't happen. What should be the greatest time of my life feels kind of empty all of a sudden. That friend... that love is about to go away... forever. She is going to die and I don't want to face it."

"I visited her a couple months ago before she got really down. We went outside and sat on the deck and just talked about old times. Remember the time we wanted to go to the Creed concert and Uncle Keith's old truck broke down? We couldn't find a ride for shit and Peyton offered to 'borrow' her Dad's."

"I remember", Nathan said with a fond smile. "We borrowed it alright. Made it all the way to Raleigh and then some fuck face at the concert banged it up in the parking lot. Pey was so scared and you spent like all night at Keith's shop trying to fix it before her old man found out."

"Yeah, we had some great times. We were always getting into this and that. She's such a cool girl. She never acted stuck up or bitchy or anything. She was just one of us, you know? She'd kick off her shoes and try to shoot hoops with us on the court. Her lay-up sucked but she didn't care. Just as long as she was having fun."

"I know. We always had a lot of fun together. We just connected. And I'll never forget how she was there for me when I went through all that shit with Dad. So many nights I was a mess and she just kept it together for me. Pey was so good, you know? She's always there for me and for everybody. She was my rock."

"She did always know just what to do."

"I love her, Luke. I really love her, man."

"I know. Never forget that love, what she meant to you."

Nathan baited his line and cast it into the water.

"I'll never forget. Never. But it's weird."

"What's that?"

"We're sitting here talking about her like she's already dead. And in a way, she is. She's not the same. And that pisses me off the most. Not to be selfish, but that's the thing about the Leukemia that really gets to me. Not only is it taking her life, it's taking her spirit before that. She doesn't even want to see me anymore. She won't even let me love her. She says I can't come back. I guess she's embarrassed because her hair is falling out and the chemo is really wearing her down. It is hard to see her sick but I don't care about the physical stuff. Peyton will always be beautiful to me."

"What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know. Maybe I should stay away..."

"Don't. You'll end up regretting it. We don't even know how much time she has, Nate. You have to see her again. I'm sorry to say it, man, but it might be the last time."

Nathan sighed and nodded. It pained him more than anything but deep down inside, he knew his brother's words were true.


	6. Farewell For An Angel

Nathan awoke with a start. There was a sharp pain in his chest and he was covered in a cold sweat. The digital clock by the bed read 3:22 a.m. and the bedroom like the rest of the house was dark and still. It had been such a normal even peaceful night but now the anxiety was flowing through his veins at top speed. Throwing the covers off, he stumbled over to the heap of clothes in the floor he had worn earlier. He quickly dressed in jeans and a shirt and slipped his feet in his Adidas sandals. He felt almost possessed, literally compelled to grab his wallet and hop in the car. Within a few minutes he found himself pulling into the Sawyer's driveway. He had hoped the whole time that he was having a nightmare, or maybe just overreacting. But his heart sank as he saw all the lights on in the house. It was such a late hour and that could only mean one thing. Practically racing to the front door, he pounded on it. Seconds later, Mr. Sawyer opened it, swollen and red eyes peering back at him.

"Mr. Sawyer, sir, I'm sorry it's so late but please. I...I need to see her."

"She said no visitors..."

"Sir. I have to."

The older man nodded and let the younger one enter the house. Nathan bounded up to the bedroom. Mr. Sawyer stood back giving the kids the closure both so desperately needed.

"I know you told me not to come but I had to. I had to see you just now. I woke up with this feeling..."

"They're calling me, Nate", Peyton whispered.

"Who? Who is calling you, baby?"

"My mom...and the rest of the angels."

Nathan bit his lip but that didn't stop the fresh avalanche of tears pouring from his blueeyes.

"I love you", he cried. "Always have and always will. Pey you mean the world to me and I'll never forget you or what you meant to me. Everything good that I am or that I've ever done is because of you, baby."

"We went to Myrtle Beach, Natey. We picked sea shells and had cotton candy...the jet ski."

"The jet ski", he sobbed. "We were laughing when Luke fell off the jet ski."

"That was a good time, Nate."

"The best", he whispered.

"Don't...don't let Dad bury me in a black dress."

"Peyton, don't say..."

"I mean it, Nathan. Tell them, please. I like the pink one with the little flowers on it. And I want to be buried right next to Mom."

"No black", he managed to repeat. "The pink one."

She managed a smile and reached out to him beckoning Nathan to lay with her. Wiping away at a flood of tears, he complied, gently crawling on the bed beside her.

"Sing to me", she said.

In an emotional voice Nathan sang the first tune that came to mind. He had sang it once, rather badly actually in front of the entire Tree Hill student body once during Senior year when he had inevitably screwed up and Peyton was once again mad at him.

_Why do birds suddenly appear?_

_Every time you're near_

_Just like me_

_They long to be_

_Close to you..._

Her hands tenderly caressed his face. His heart broke into a million pieces as he literally felt her floating away.

"It's gonna be okay, Peyton. Everything is going to be okay. You'll see. I promise, baby."

And then in his arms she went limp. There was no sound or no movement, only stillness and peace. The thousands of emotions inside him began to erupt. There was no way to control or stifle the moan of heart wrenching agony. His love was gone forever. Putting his face in her still warm chest he sobbed and cradled her. A little piece of Nathan had died that moment right along with Peyton Sawyer.

_In the arms of an angel_

_Fly away from here_

_From this dark cold hotel room_

_And the endlessness that you fear_

_You are pulled from the wreckage_

_Of your silent reverie_

_You're in the arms of the angel_

_May you find some comfort there_

"I love you", he said after singing to her for the final time.

With that he placed a tear stained kiss on her lips.

"Good bye, angel."


	7. One Last Gift

Haley had arrived early at the church. Alone and beautifully dressed, she entered and made her way down the winding aisle. The black box placed in the front center seemed so huge and she was afraid to look inside. But she did and there was Peyton looking content and peaceful almost like she was taking a nap. Fighting back tears, Haley slowly backed away and took a seat in the third pew. Quickly the church filled with mourners. It was as if the entire town had showed up, a reminder of how much the young girl had been loved. Then the preacher took his position at the pulpit. The organist began a depressing tune and the side doors opened allowing the family to enter to view the body for the last time. Mr. Sawyer openly wept. He was followed by grandparents, and a host of uncles, aunts, and cousins. And then there was Nathan. He walked in somberly followed by Dan and Deb with the Sawyer family. Dressed in a black suit with sunglasses unsuccessfully trying to hide red rimmed eyes, he stood over the coffin staring down into it. He stroked her hands and placed a single red rose on her chest.

"Yet, we are filled with a strange ambivalence. It is an ambivalence born of the Christian confidence that we shall see our loved one again. For we believe the promise of our Lord, 'Because I live, Ye shall live also'. Therefore, we seek comfort and consolation in God's divine word", Rev. Brown began amidst the few audible sniffles and sobs.

Haley lost in her own emotion, kept shifting her gaze over towards Nathan. She truly did feel bad for Peyton untimely passing but she was also concerned about Nathan. The poor thing was obviously distraught as his mother, Deb, hugged him for comfort.

"...To the beloved family and friends of this departed young person we find ourselves gathered, humanly speaking, prematurely to say fair well to someone we loved, laughed, labored and lived our lives with. For us this happy relationship has ended much too soon. We understand what Tennyson was feeling when he cried out, 'And O for the touch of a vanished hand and the sound of a voice that is stilled.' 5 Yet, our Christian faith assures us that death shall not have the last word. Christ is alive and we have hope beyond the grave. Consequently, we look for hope even beyond the grave and we are confident of victory over death..."

The words seemed to fade in and out and Haley's mind reeled. She looked from the casket over to a crying Nathan and back to the coffin over and over again. So much pain...so unfair.

The rest of the day was a blur. On an otherwise beautiful and glorious day in North Carolina, a family laid to rest their only child, a 23 year old daughter. The casket containing the body of Peyton Sawyer was committed to the earth. Onlookers cried and held hands. The parents grasped on to each other for comfort. Haley cried quietly to herself. And an emotionally drained Nathan stood stoic, his eyes focused on the box which was disappearing into the ground. Like a tall, grand tree planted firmly by a body of water, he stood. Long after others went home, long after the undertaker had finished his work. The sky was beginning to turn a dark pink and he was still there unable to leave that spot. Unable to leave Peyton.

"You want some breakfast, Nate?" Deb Scott asked her son as he entered the house.

It had been days since the funeral and the young man was still consumed with grief.

"That's okay, Mom. I'm not hungry anyway."

"You have to eat", she said in a worried, motherly tone. "You really don't look well and I don't want you to make yourself sick."

"I'm fine. I just came to see Dad actually."

Nathan made his way into the study where his father sat behind his computer. It had been a terse relationship for father and son over the years. Through all the drama and angst, Peyton had always been there and she and Dan had always gotten along remarkably well.

"Hey, Dad", he said, kneeling by the chair as he took out something from his back pocket. "I brought this ribbon for you. It belonged to Peyton. It was tied on her hair and her dad gave it to me, you know, as something to remember her by. She's gone, Dad and now nothing will ever be the same again. I love her and I miss her already. But this was hers and I want you to have it. Keep it close to you at all times."

Dan Scott sat speechless. It was always unpredictable to say the least whenever he and Nathan were in the same room. He never knew if there would be a civil moment or if World War III was going to break out. But after years of arguments and problems and uncertainty, now it came down to a boy and his dad.Tears formed in his eyes as his youngest son placed the ribbon on his stomach before burying his face in his father's chest. Their relationship had always been rocky but all Dan could do now was comfort his sobbing son.


	8. Remembering Peyton

Haley looked up from her place behind the register and noticed Nathan sitting at his favorite booth. It had been weeks since the funeral, and just days since he had returned to work. He looked better but still she was afraid. What on earth would she say to him?

"Hi", she said, brining him a menu.

"Hey. It's good to see you. How's it going?"

"I'm good", she replied. "I'll be back with your drink."

Walking on egg shells she fidgeted in the back to prepare his usual order. It was starting to get late and Karen had already left for the day. She and Nathan were the only ones in the diner and that made her a bit uncomfortable.

"There you go", she nervously stammered, placing his order in front of him before making her way to the back.

"Thanks...Um, Hales? If you don't, you know, if you're not busy back there or whatever..."

"No. I mean, I'm not."

"Cool", he smiled. "Sit down. I could use the company."

She played with the dish rag in her hands and sat in the seat opposite Nathan. Her left foot slid from under her causing that side of her body to miss the booth completely. She half landed with a thud as she desperately grabbed onto the table for support.

"You okay?" Nathan asked, leaning over to help.

Her face turned a bright shade of crimson as she reluctantly accepted his hand.

"Sorry. I am a total klutz."

"It's no big deal", he said, dismissing the situation with the wave of his hand. "So. What's been going on?"

"Nothing", she shrugged. "Same old crap. This is Tree Hill, you know."

"Yeah but it's home. Home sweet home. After being on the road so much I have really learned to appreciate the stability and the serenity of this place."

"I saw your game against the Pistons last week. That was pretty awesome. You were so good at Duke and now you're starting in the NBA. How cool is that?

"You're telling me. I'm so happy about that, man. It's great but it's still kind of bittersweet."

"Because of Peyton?" Haley dared to ask.

"Yeah", Nathan answered with a softened expression. "Because of Peyton."

"It was a nice service. The flowers were beautiful."

"It was. It was sad and everything but it was nice how everybody just reflected on what a great person she was. Peyton was the best."

"She was a nice girl. I, I remember this one time back in school. I was walking home and this car passes by and totally splashes me with muddy water. I was drenched because we had just had a storm and everything. Anyway, these guys, they were football players and stuff. Total jerks and they were laughing...anyway, this like brand new Camaro pulls up and it's Peyton. She pulled over and offered me a ride home. I was totally blown away that the prettiest, most popular girl in school let little old me ride in her brand new cat soaked in dirty water."

"That was the kind of person she was", Nathan smiled. "Very kind and giving and loving, even til the end. I was with her when she passed on. Peyton died in my arms."

"Oh my God", Haley exclaimed, putting her hands to her mouth. "That's so awful. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's weird. Even though it was one of the saddest moments of my life, it was also one of the most beautiful. We made our peace and I told her how much I love her. And I held her and I sang to her and she just looked at me. Then she just closed her eyes and let go. She said the angles were calling on her. That's when I realized I was being selfish, we all were. We wanted her here but this wasn't right for her. Her time was up. I was angry and sad at first but now I feel better. It's not any easier or anything and I'll miss her forever but I know she's okay. When she finally went, there was no more pain or worry or suffering...just peace."

A tear fell down Haley's cheek as she saw the water welling in Nathan's eyes.

"That's beautiful, Nate", she said, her hand trembling as she placed it over here. "Because of Peyton, you've been touched by a little piece of heaven."

He nodded and looked away, desperately trying to conceal the emotion inside that was eating him away.

"You're right, Hales. I know that. Um, I didn't mean to come here and lay all this heavy stuff on you. Sorry."

"It's okay. I...I'm your friend. I care about you and I cared about Peyton. You can talk to me if you want. I don't mind."

"Thank you", he said. "That really means a lot."

They talked for a few minutes more as he went on about everything from Peyton to his upcoming games. Haley was amazed at how comfortable she felt like that talking to him. When he finally did leave, she was left alone to think about everything they had talked about. He was so deep and pure and beautiful and brave. And Peyton's spirit so kind and gentle was now free. Free to roam her castle in the sky and look down on everyone else.


	9. Running For Her Life

**_Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. I really enjoy the feedback so keep it coming. I really appreciate the kind words and I'm glad everyone seems to be liking it so far. Thank you again and stay tuned for more updates...there are plenty to come! Keep reading and reviewing!! : )_**

The sound of shattering glass jolted Haley awake. Then it was quiet again before she heard the familiar blood curling scream of her mother. They had probably gotten wasted again and a stupid argument started up. Regardless, it always led to the same thing and Haley knew Ricky was beating the hell out of her mother. Shaking like a leaf, she slipped out of bed and grabbed a vase, the first thing she saw. Opening the door she saw Ricky standing over Cindy appearing to choke her. Mustering all her courage, Haley hurled her thin body into the man, drawing back the vase. From the corner of his eye he sensed the movement and stopped her, grabbing her hand when the vase was mere inches away from cracking his skull.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Get off my mother, you son of a bitch!" Haley yelled.

She began beating her fists against his back, raking her nails on his chest in an attempt to inflict any amount of pain she could. Grabbing her face, Ricky pushed her to the floor where still kicking and screaming, he brought his hand across her right eye. She felt the sting and the blood and one final time, hauled back and kicked him square in the crotch. He howled and grabbed his private area, sinking to his knees and cursing the whole time as Haley lay helpless on the floor.

"What are you two doing?" Cindy asked, clutching her throat that bore the imprint of a hand on it.

"Are you okay, Mama?"

"What did you do?"

"I had to get him off of you..."

Cindy's eyes skimmed over to where Ricky was trying to reach a standing position.

"Cin, when are you gonna do something about that goddamned brat? Little bitch just kicked me in the balls."

Haley put her arms around her mother as Cindy pushed away and slapped her hard across the face.

"Haley, you're always trying to ruin something. Damn you! You will show Ricky the proper respect."

"But Mama, he was choking you. I thought...I thought he was gonna kill..."

"Get out! You go to bed right now talking this nonsense."

With tears streaming down her bruised face, she retreated to the room. She collapsed on the bed sobbing, her head in her hands. She cried until she fell asleep, until there were no more tears left. She was exhausted but not so exhausted that she didn't hear the eerie creep of her door being pushed open. Haley knew she was not alone and she could see the silhouette against the wall. Sinking deeper into the bed, she closed her eyes tight and held her breath. There was a moment of silence then like a cheetah pouncing on its prey, Ricky snatched the blankets. Haley tried to scream but he held her face down into the pillow.

"Don't scream, slut, or I'll kill you. You hear me? I'll cut your throat and burn you and your mama up."

When her cries were muffled, he turned her back over. She could barely see the steely blackness of his eyes but she could smell the combined stench of body odor and cheap whiskey. With a sickening grin, he used his index finger to make an imaginary trail from her neck to the waistband of her pajama shorts. His very touch made her skin crawl.

"You leave me alone. Get out of here, Ricky, or I'm gonna..."

"Gonna what?" he smirked. "Enjoy it?"

With one motion, he ripped the top from her body, leaving her beige bra expose. She watched in stunned horror as he pulled down his pants and crawled on top of her, his wet and slimy tongue leaving a disgusting path across her face. That feeling, that awful feeling of his hands and mouth all over her and even worse her own fear literally paralyzing her. Ricky roughly pushed her bra over her breasts and lowered his salivating mouth onto her tender nipple. His hands traveled south rubbing against the warmth in her shorts as he hungrily bit into her.

"Stop fighting me, you know you like it!"

Her tears, fears, fears and the physical pain got the best of her. It was almost pointless to struggle against his dead weight and she shuddered to think what was next.

"Quit screaming because nobody can hear you besides, that only turns me on more."

"No, no", Haley whimpered over and over again as she thrashed her body around desperately trying to keep her knees locked tightly together.

"Why are you being so frigid with me, huh? Oh, I get it, unexplored territory. Is that it? Well, don't worry, baby. It'll only hurt for a minute."

Using everything inside her, Haley did the only thing she could think of to make him stop. Heaving her entire body weight, she summoned enough to vomit all over him, in the process wetting her pants as well.

"Fucking sick bitch!" he screamed, obviously disgusted as he fell to the floor.

Haley saw her only chance and took full advantage of the situation. She bolted up and out the door, stopping only to locate her car keys.

"You little cunt!" Ricky sneered. "I'm gonna kill you."

There was no time left so she made a run for in. Barefoot, bruised, bleeding and covered in her own urine and vomit, she dashed from the trailer in only shorts and a bra. She had no idea where she was running to, only what she was running from and what she was running for...her life.


	10. A Safe Haven

Nathan's eyes fluttered as he struggled to keep them open to watch the remainder of the Conan O'Brien show. It was late and he was tired. Lucas and his girlfriend Brooke Davis along with their childhood pals, Tim and Jake had come over earlier in the evening for dinner. He had nixed the plan of joining them for drinks and a game of pool and instead elected to relax in bed. He had almost given in to exhaustion when he was startled by the loud and relentless barking of his dogs, Knight and Duke. He tried to get comfortable again but it was impossible. The dogs were going crazy. Instead, he pulled out an old hunting rifle and crept to the front door. He could hear noises, human noises whimpering outside. Fan, stalker, potential burglar or not, he wasn't going to take any chances. Nathan walked outside with his gun cocked and finger placed on the trigger. He could hear rustling over by the shed, the spot where Duke the Rottweiler was particularly sniffing.

"Who the fuck is there?" Nathan asked. "Whoever you are you've got exactly ten seconds to come out with your hands up. If not, I'm about to blow your ass into the next century."

"Please...", came a small voice.

Thinking it sounded like a small child, he moved closer to investigate. He opened the door and there was a girl crouched on the floor. In the fetal position, she had brownish auburn hair and she was wet and muddy and shaking. She also smelled pretty ripe.

"What the hell..."

She raised her eyes and looked directly at him. Nathan gasped as he saw her all bloodied and battered. He instantly recognized her.

"Haley? Haley James? Are you okay? What happened to you?"

She didn't verbally respond but her trembling body and facial expressions led him to quickly believe that she was terrified. She was probably in shock and he didn't want to further freak her out. He tied up the dogs and reached out her hand. After a few reluctant seconds, she took it.

Haley stood in the bathroom's full length mirror and stared at herself. What a mess. Her lip was cut and she was sporting a nice shiner on her eye. The hot shower had felt good but it had done little to wash away both the violation and humiliation she felt from Ricky's surprise attack. And now she was in a clean over size tee shirt and boxers, under clothes that belonged to Nathan Scott. She didn't even remember running in the dark the few miles to his house. She couldn't believe she had shown up covered in pee and throw up. It was still unreal how nice he had been to her.

"You dressed, Hales?" Nathan asked as he nodded. "If you are, you can come down to the living room."

Embarrassed and hesitant at first, finally she drifted down the steps and into the main part of the house. The living area was dimly lit and she gasped as she had her first good look at him that night. He was perfect in every way...evenly tanned skin, strong arms, muscular chest, flat stomach. His sweat pants hung low off those magnificent hips and his striking blue eyes were a perfect contrast to his dark hair.

"Have a seat", he offered. "Can I get you something? Coffee, tea, juice, soda..."

"I'm okay", she mumbled.

Nathan nodded and sighed, running a hand through his soft locks. "Your clothes are in the dryer."

"Thanks..."

"Look, I'm not trying to be nosy or anything, Brit, but...what the hell happened to you tonight?"

"Ricky...", she whispered.

She still looked rather traumatized and Nathan knew he would have to take it easy on her.

"Who is Ricky?" he asked softly. "What did he do to you?"

Her body immediately tensed and tears welled in her eyes. It was as if she wanted to speak but the words couldn't make their way out.

"You can trust me, Haley. I promise."

Something about his eyes made her believe him. Besides, after showing up filthy and hysterical on his private property in the middle of the night, she had least owed him an honest explanation, no matter how difficult it was to talk about it.

"My mother's boyfriend. He lives with us now", she started. "All they ever do is get drunk and act stupid. He gets crazy so when he gets fucked up. Anyway, he, he um, got mad at my mom and attacked her. He was strangling her and I thought he was gonna kill her so I jumped between him. He hit me. I got away and stuff and I went to my room. He came in and he tried to..."

Nathan's eyes closed as her voice trailed off into a sob. "Oh God, no. Did he...did he..."

"No", she said emphatically. "It didn't get that far."

"How far did it get?"

"He...oh God, I'm sorry, Nathan", she sniffled. "I'm real sorry. I had no right showing up at your place like this. You don't need to be dragged into all my problems. I'll just go, I..."

"No", he said, gently tugging at her arm. "You don't have to go. I want to help you."

"I'm so ashamed..."

"You don't deserve anything that he did to you. It's not your fault. Don't be embarrassed, Hales but you have to let me help you. You have to tell me the truth."

With tears streaming everywhere, she showed him the bruises on her back, neck, arms, and face. With shaking hands, she pulled down the top of her shirt and showed him the gruesome trail leading to her breast.


	11. Building Trust

Haley's eyes opened and she jumped, completely unaware of her surroundings. It all felt so unfamiliar then the horrific memories of the night before began flooding back. Ricky, running away, ending up at Nathan's, having to tell him the whole story, then having to repeat it again after he had called the police. The minute she showed him the marks and relived the terror with him, he had become enraged. A gentleman and always fiercely protective of his friends, he was determined that a middle aged, drunk piece of garbage was not going to get away with the beating and attempted rape of an innocent young woman. Not only had he alerted the cops, he had stayed with her during the questioning and accompanied her to the sheriff's office for further inquisition. Then he had insisted that she stay in one of the spare bedrooms at his place. Too worn out to protest and not having too many more appealing options, she had simply complied. When she finally did wake up, he was out in the yard washing his Mustang and playing fetch with the dogs.

"Hi", she said through the door.

"Hey", he smiled as he headed inside. "You're up. Want something to eat?"

She didn't want to push for too much and he had already been so sweet to her.

"No, thank you."

"Come on. You have to eat. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, cereal, what? I'm not much of a cook but whatever you want is yours."

"I'm not hungry", she said, just as her stomach growled.

"You could have fooled me", he smiled. "Come on. I'm gonna fix myself some French toast, scrambled eggs and a juice. I'll make enough for both of us."

She smiled as Nathan went about preparing something for them to eat.

"The sheriff called while you were sleeping. They arrested Ricky. They're gonna hold him for 48 hours until you decide to press charges."

"I don't know...I don't think I can."

"Yes you can. You can do anything. And you have to, Hales. That monster deserves to be behind bars, not roaming the streets. God, every time I think about what he did to you..."

"I'm scared, Nathan", Haley volunteered truthfully. "I am scared and I'm embarrassed. Jesus, I don't even know how I let my life get like this. Now all this mess has happened and the whole town is gonna know if they don't already."

"It's not like that. It doesn't have to be that way."

"Yes, it is. You don't understand. You're one of the lucky ones, Nate, because you got out. You made something of your life. You're famous and you make a decent living...you built this house and you just have everything. A great career, great friends, fans..."

"And you can have the same. Maybe basketball isn't your dream but you can do other stuff. What about college? You were so smart in high school. Hell, if it hadn't been for your tutoring, my dumb ass would have been kicked off the team. There are plenty of things you could do."

"I wasn't smart enough", she said with a huge sigh. "I only received a partial scholarship to UNC and that wasn't enough. We just didn't have the money. Everything went to hell when Dad left and Mama started drinking. You know something, when I was little, I used to look at her and think that as much as I loved her, I never ever wanted to be like her. Even before she started drinking. She's 47 years old and drinks from sun up to sun down and stops only occasionally to do drugs or hang out with the low lives she chooses to shack up with. The sad part is that she's content to do that and be that way. I hate her for it, Nathan. Sometimes I really hate her. I feel like she ruined my life, too."

"But you have a chance..."

"What chance? Look at me."

"I am looking at you. I see a beautiful, intelligent, kind, wonderful girl who doesn't even realize her own power. God, Hales, you are so much more than you give yourself credit for."

Haley blushed and fought back tears. It was surreal to hear Nathan Scott, the love of her life since forever, utter such nice words with a real sense of sincerity. He said she was beautiful.

"Thank you", she said. "Nathan, thanks for everything. There is no way I could ever repay you for all the kindness. You've done so much in the last 12 hours but I have to leave."

"Where will you go?"

"I don't know..."

"You can't go back home."

"I don't have anywhere else to go", she muttered softly.

"Yes you do. Don't ever feel hopeless like that. I want to help you, Hales if you'll let me. You can stay here", Nathan offered before he even realized what he was saying.

"What? You don't mean that. I couldn't..."

"Yes, you can just until stuff blows over and we figure something else out. I'm going back on the road the day after tomorrow but you can just hang out here. You'll be safe and I trust you."

"Nathan..."

"No buts. It's okay. You can trust me, Haley."

And the scary thing for her was that she did.


	12. Haley's Chance

"I still cannot believe you let Tutor girl stay in your house unsupervised", Brooke said for the millionth time.

It was the end of a week long trip of road games for both the Hawks and Bobcats and finally the two brothers had met in the middle somewhere outside of Houston. Brooke, Luke and Nate were catching a late night meal at the only restaurant open, which happened to be the local Denny's.

"What am I supposed to do, Brooke? I couldn't just leave her. She had nowhere to go."

"I understand that but still. You can't go around saving the world, kiddo."

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Well, this is temporary, just until we can figure something out. Besides, it's not like she's some stranger from off the street. I've known this girl practically my whole life. In fact, we've all known her or while you're so busy being the Belle of Atlanta and spending my brother's money, did you forget where you came from, Brooke?"

"Fine", Brooke sniffed. "No need to get all pissy on me, Nate. I'm warning you because I care and because I want to help. If you want to take it the wrong way and get your shitty little attitude..."

"Alright, you two", Lucas warned. "Quit it. Brooke, babe, I see your point and where you're trying to come from but it's okay. Haley and I were pretty tight growing up. She was my best friend. I know you're just trying to look out for Nate but Haley is okay. If you could trust anybody in the world and if any one person really needed help, then she would be the one. She's gone through a lot since her folks split up. Hell, I wish there was something I could do for her. Still it's not our business. This is between Haley and Nathan."

"I don't see what the big deal is", Nathan spoke up. "I mean, come on. I know what I'm doing so leave me alone. Man, somebody had to do something to help her. Luke, tell me if you still lived in Tree Hill that you wouldn't have helped her out. There's no way you can say that to me because there's no way you would have turned your back on her. Haley is a sweet girl and she's kind of had it rough since high school. She deserves a chance."

"Dude, I totally agree with you but in Brooke's defense, that's not what she was trying to say." Lucas offered on his wife's behalf. "All we're saying is be careful. You know I'm all about helping people out who deserve it and especially Haley but watch your back. That's always, Nathan. You are still vulnerable from Peyton and..."

Nathan had heard enough. Sighing before he lost his temper completely, he stood up and walked away from the table.

* * *

It had been a rough and unbelievable 96 hours for Haley. She had almost been raped by her mother's slimy, no good boyfriend and fled to the home of Nathan Scott of all people. From there he had been so giving and helpful, calling the police and offering to protect her by letting her stay at his home while he was on the road. It was even more amazing how quickly and deeply she had learned to trust and depend on him. He had been her rock, her virtual lifeline through everything but there was still the gnawing fear that she would wear out her welcome. She had no money or food or anything that she could call her own. The police were planning to deliver her clothes from her old home and until then she was stuck in Nathan's oversized sweats and tees. He had gone through great lengths to make sure she would be comfortable, stocking the house with groceries and even leaving a small wad of cash. But there was no reason to leave, as the house was wonderful. It was plenty spacious and of course decorated with Nathan's unique and keen sense of style. It was stocked with a full bar, three movie sized television sets, and a digital satellite so there was always something to do. But the house also bore memories of Peyton. Her pictures and remnants of various presents and cards left over the years. But what struck Haley the most a white silk shawl. She had recognized it immediately as the one Peyton had worn at Senior prom. She had looked so beautiful that night in a long, white sleeveless designer gown. Peyton and Nathan had been the perfect couple and the elected King and Queen of the gala, leaving Haley to admire from afar in the little lavender dress that had been purchased from a sale rack at the local mall. That shawl, that pretty white shawl. Haley picked it up relishing its feel between her fingers. Draping it across her, she admired it in the full length mirror.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Nathan!" Haley gasped, startled at the interruption and the fact that he was home.

"That's Peyton's. Where did you get it?"

"I...I'm sorry. I was just looking through the house and I saw it. I remembered it because she wore it with her dress that night at prom. It's so pretty I just wanted to see what it would look like on. I didn't mean anything by it."

He nodded but was still unnerved at the very thought of Haley, or anyone for that matter, rifling through Peyton's things.

"Well, I'd appreciate if you didn't mess around with her stuff."

"Okay", she replied meekly as they walked back out to the main area. "I'm sorry."

"It's no biggie. So, um, what did you do while I was gone? Did you press charges?"

"Yeah", she breathed. "That was pretty hard. Mama is very angry with me about the whole thing. They're holding Ricky and we have a court date in a couple of weeks."

"I'm sorry your mom is being like that, Hales. It's not right and it's not your fault. You did the right thing."

"I hope so. Uh, the cops are brining my clothes and stuff here tomorrow, if that's okay. I'm trying to get in contact with my cousin, Becky, so I can stay with her and be out of your hair."

"That's cool", he smiled. "No rush. I'll try to go with you to court and everything."

"You don't have to but thanks."

"Were you bored while I was gone?"

"A little", she grinned, "but I won't complain. This house is amazing and the cable is out of this world. I swear I watched enough TV to fry my brain for the next ten years. I had a good time though. You have some neat channels. I watch a lot of History, and Geographic and Travel stuff. It's so cool. I was bundled up on the sofa watching those programs seeing so many new things. It sounds silly but I felt like I was traveling too. I guess in my head I was. Experiencing new things and places."

Nathan smiled taken aback at her pure child like spirit. She was so fresh and so smart. It was a shame she had never had the chance to leave Tree Hill and explore the world.

"Sounds nice. It's cool that you got to see all those things on television but how would you like to experience it in real life?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have an away game at the end of the week in Orlando against the Magic. Have you ever been to Florida? Disney World?"

"No, I..."

"Well I hope the cops hurry up and get your stuff over here because you've got some packing to do", Nathan winked.


	13. Getting Away

It had been nothing short of an eventful day. The plane had taken off at six in the morning and they would be at their destination within a few hours.

"Are you nervous?" Nathan asked. "It's okay if you are. I know I was the first time I flew."

"I'm okay", Haley lied.

She tried to relax but her heart began to thump wildly as the aircraft began taxiing down the runway. It picked up the needed speed then lifted off into the air. Haley gasped and reached for the elbow rest.

"You okay?" Nathan smiled.

"Yeah. Um, is everything, you know, okay? I mean, is it supposed to feel like this?"

"Yeah, it's fine. This is actually a pretty smooth take off."

She relaxed but he kept a careful eye on her especially when the airplane hit some rough air and experienced some turbulence. He gave her a reassuring smile but just the same protectively draped his hand over her trembling arm.

The kids arrived at the hotel in Orlando, Florida. Just their luck the Ritz Carlton hotel had been overbooked and due to Nathan's last minute planning, there was no extra room available for Haley. Rather than rearrange things and stick in her in a room in another hotel across town, it was decided that Haley would stay in the room Nathan. It certainly was spacious enough and she could have the bed while he bunked on the suite's sofa.

"Hey, Hales, you almost ready?" Nathan asked. "I don't mean to rush you but we have to head over to the arena."

She smiled and emerged from the door. "Sorry", she apologized sweetly. "I hope I didn't make you late or anything."

Nathan literally gasped at the sight before him. He had always thought Haley was attractive enough in a simple and natural sort of way but the young woman standing before him was simply breathtaking. Her short auburn brownish hair had been neatly cut and styled. Her make up had been applied perfectly and complimented her newly tanned skin, courtesy of being able to lay out by Nathan's pool. She was dressed in a simple ivory tank top, jeans and sandals. Even dressed down, she was a knock out.

"Is something wrong, Nate?"

"Huh? No, um, you...you look great", he smiled.

She accompanied him to the arena where she was given a backstage all access passes. It was a wild and incredible scene in the back with all the players and everyone looked so busy as they hustled to prepare for the game. Haley could not believe that she was just a few feet away from NBA Superstars she had spent years watching on TV.

"You alright?" Nathan asked.

God, he looked so handsome and sexy in his Bobcats warm up suit

"Everybody keeps staring at me."

"Don't worry about it. They're probably staring at me. If they are looking at you, it's just because you look pretty."

Haley smiled as some female fans who had managed to get backstage requested autographs and pictures with Nathan and other players. It was so cool to see just how much impact he had on people and the simple yet wonderful ability to bring a smile to someone's face. It was a little uncomfortable the stares she received from some of the girls who saw her with him but for the most part it was nice. A half hour later it was time for Nathan to play. Haley nervously played with her hands as she watched from the box seats in a VIP room reserved especially for players' wives and families. Nathan was so handsome and sexy and she had always loved watching him on the court. It didn't matter if he was a cocky 16 year old showing off at the docks or a strapping man of 22 playing professional ball in front of a sold out arena. He had always been something else to look at. It totally warmed her heart to see the reaction that he received from the crowd. She watched the game closely with excitement and concern, cheering for every sunk basket and praying with every missed shot and the few times Nathan took a tumble to the court floor. Haley breathed a huge sigh of relief when it was over and he was safe, the Charlotte Bobcats defeating the Orlando Magic by 7 points.

"Did you see?" Nathan asked out of breath as he bounded towards her in the back, sweaty but delighted at scoring 31 of the Bobcats' 103 points.

"Yeah and it was awesome! Congratulations!"

He grinned and swooped her up in his arms, both of them grinning as he twirled her around.

"I hope you weren't too bored with all this basketball business while I was working."

"No, not all. This is a cool job. It's like it's not even work."

"Well, my work is done. I'm gonna go hop in the shower and we can get out of here. The whole team is gonna get together afterwards for dinner back at the hotel. You up for it?"

"Sounds great as long as they have macaroni and cheese", she grinned, referring to her favorite food.

"I think we can accommodate you. But you better not have too much mac and cheese tonight, girl. I have a big surprise for you."

"Surprise? What kind of surprise?" Haley grinned. "Nate, what are you up to?"

"You'll see. Besides if I told you, then it wouldn't be a surprise now would it? Let's just say we have a huge day ahead of us tomorrow", he winked as he disappeared into the locker room.

Haley breathless and deliriously happy sank back against the wall. The day had been unreal and she was having the time of her life. The funny thing was it had nothing to do with the first class flight, fancy hotel room and expensive food. It was all Nathan Scott. They could have spent the day digging ditches and it would have made Haley no difference. There was just something about being in his presence, having him smile at her. Yes it was all about Nathan...it always had been.


	14. Just Another Day At The Park

**_Author's Note: Once again guys, thanks to all who read and a bigger thank you to those who take the time to review. It means a lot. Especially to Carys5 who is an absolute sweetheart. I'm glad you all are enjoying the story._**

"Nate, I don't think this was such a great idea..."

"It's a little late now, don't you think, Haley?" Nathan grinned. "Besides, this is fun."

"For who?" Haley asked as Space Mountain began to descend.

She could only close her eyes and scream, part fear, part joy, all thrill. She had always been one to stand on the sidelines and watch the few times she and school friends had visited Carowinds amusement park in Charlotte. But this was Disney World, the mecca and mother of all theme parks and Haley figured that you only live once. So she had been dragged from ride to ride with Nathan, which would have been okay except for the fact that he was one of the most "extreme" "no fear" people on the planet.

"So are you having a good time or what?" Nathan asked with a huge grin as they finally had some down time in the food court.

"A good time? I am having a fabulous time! This is awesome! Thank you so much, Nate. It feels like I'm dreaming. Today has been unreal. I rode Space Mountain, the Small World ride, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, and the Mad Hatter's Tea Cup among other stuff. I got to take a picture with Goofy, Snow White, and Mr. Mickey Mouse himself...this is stuff I've only ever seen on TV. I'm 22 but I feel like I'm 10 today."

"I'm glad."

"Thank you. Thank you for everything, Nate. For today and all the nice things you've done for me. I don't know how or even when but I swear to you right here and now that one day I am going to pay you back. For today, the plane ticket, the room and board...everything. You have been a saint, Nathan."

"You don't owe me anything, Hales", Nathan said quietly. "When you're at my house and I can look over and see that you're safe, and today being able to see you smile all day long...well, that's more than enough payment for me."

She leaned over and caressed his hand with her own. More than physical stuff or any cash dollar, the most special part about everything was just being with him. His fingers rubbed her own and like some magical scene out of a movie, both leaned in, their faces and lips on a one way path to a passionate collision course.

"Oh shit...look, it's...dude, do you know who you are? You're Nathan Scott!" a teenager wearing Nathan's number 23 Bobcats jersey exclaimed to a bunch of his friends.

"Hey man, how's it going?" Nathan good naturedly obliged.

Fans and encounters came with the territory.

"Man, I can't believe we ran into you here. This is cool. You're my favorite player. I've watched you since you were # 23 at Duke and I got your stats when you were # 23 at Tree Hill High back in Carolina. Man, do you think we could get your autograph?"

"Sure thing, dude. What's your name?"

Haley watched on with a smile as Nathan patiently chatted and signed his autograph for a half dozen or so star struck boys.

"Sorry about that", he mumbled when the kids had left.

"No, no I understand. That's part of the job."

They stared at each other for a minute then looked away, slightly embarrassed by their near give in to temptation just a few moments earlier. Standing and straightening themselves, they returned to the park.

That evening in the hotel, Haley enjoyed a luxurious, relaxing and well needed bubble bath. Afterwards, she got ready for sleep and changed into bed clothes, a nightgown that Nathan had purchased for her among other things. Most of the other Bobcat players were still out partying but there was Nathan on the couch curled up and covered by a thin sheet. He appeared to be sleeping peacefully and Haley kneeled over him, admiring his beautiful form.

"Thank you", she whispered finally, placing a soft kiss on his bare arm.

She crawled underneath the bed's covers and settled in, resting before the long trip home. Meanwhile, Nathan lay on the floor, a smile plastered to his face.

"Sweet dreams", he said.

The trip had been a magical adventure for both, just as much for Nathan as it was for Haley. He would have a much needed five days off but it wouldn't be all play and fun. There were bigger issues to settle including Haley's new living arrangements. Even more than that there would be the upcoming hearing concerning Ricky.


	15. Lost In A Moment

**_Author's Note: Okay, this chapter is Rated R for some serious adult content...sorry, it just goes along with the story and it'll all make sense later. Not just sex for the sake of sex. So if you can't handle it, don't want to read it or you're too young to understand it...then please skip this chapter. You have been warned!!!_**

Haley took a sip of iced tea and looked out the open window staring up at the moon. When she was a little girl, she had often went out on nights when it was full and had hours long conversations with the man she thought was up there. It all seemed so silly now but it had been innocent then. Nothing was innocent anymore. Her life had forever been altered ever since her mother's boyfriend had sexually assaulted her. The physical wounds had healed but the pain inflicted on her mentally and emotionally would take years, perhaps a lifetime to go away. There had been the hearing where Ricky's court appointed attorney had entered a "not guilty" plea. In any event, there would surely be more proceedings to come as the man was being held in county jail on $25,000 bail. It had been difficult to get up there and tell her story and just as frightening to look in his face. He had stared her down the whole time, his eyes dark and pure evil. If hadn't been for the support of Nathan, Haley feared she would have long backed down. But he was there as always, her main and only source of strength as her mother, worn and strung out from substance abuse, sat steadfast in Ricky's corner. For the first time in her life, Karen wasn't even there. The cafe had temporarily shut down due to her acceptance at a cooking seminar in Florence, Italy and it was becoming harder and harder to contact aunts, uncles, cousins and the few other family members she knew of. Sad and depressed, the young girl felt helpless and alone.

"Hales, is everything alright?"

"No", Haley sighed honestly. "But when is it ever?"

"You'll be okay", Nathan said.

"Right now 'okay' seems such a long way off. I'll take just surviving."

"I saw him today when we were in court, the way he was looking at you. It made me sick. I don't even know the guy but I know what he did and it's not right. I hate him for it. I hate him for hurting you."

"Me too. But what hurts more is my mom. You saw her. Her stare was so...blank. It wasn't the look of a mother, the woman that gave birth to me. I can't believe her. You know, Karen has always been like a second mom to me. She's really been there for me but now she's gone and it's like I don't have anything. God, I feel so alone, like everything is so messed up. I don't know what to do. I feel like this is all my fault."

"Nothing is your fault."

"Then why do I feel so shitty? Why am I all alone?"

"You're not."

"Feels that way."

"It's not fair that you had to go through all this. I hate to see you in pain, Hales.", Nathan whispered as he reached out to touch her arm.

Haley shuddered at the feel of him and closed her eyes. She looked so beautiful, so innocent. He couldn't help but want to protect her...touch her...take it all away. Losing himself, he kissed the place on her shoulder where his hand had once rested. There was no resistance, not even a flinch. His kisses trailed north to the soft spot on her neck, her cheek and forehead. Finally she opened her eyes staring at him for answers, but he had no long term resolution. All he could do was give her right now. Haley had waited for this very moment almost her whole life and now it was here. Nathan Daniel Scott was kissing her. Softly and passionately with want and need and maybe love. A small moan escaped her mouth right into his as their tongues tentatively explored each other. His hands caressed her back as hers found his hair, her slender fingers gently massaging his scalp. Lying back on the floor he gently pulled her on top of him, never breaking the kiss or their moment. Haley shivered as his hands made their way up her bare thighs to the panties hidden beneath her Snoopy nightshirt. Without words they communicated and she knew what he wanted. She dared not protest when he slipped it over her head, exposing her bra and underwear. A lifetime of inexperience did not hinder her instinct as it guided her to run her hands over his smooth, hardened torso. Her fingers were hooked in the waistband of his sweat pants and he arched his back allowing her to remove them altogether. She emitted a tiny gasp as he was lying there completely nude.

Pushing up on his elbows, Nathan unhooked the back clasp of her bra, discarding it as her breasts were now in full view. She moaned as his tongue flicked at her nipples, stopping only to suck them. The pleasure was intense and wonderful so unlike the harshness and pain of what Ricky had done. Nathan's hands slid down the length of her body over her flat stomach to her underwear, which he methodically peeled from her body. They were both naked and there was no shame or apprehension. It just simply felt right. Maneuvering them so that he was on top, Nathan started at the top of her head and kissed his way down. The tender nips of her young breasts being grazed by his teeth, his tongue drawing an imaginary trail that went lower and lower. Placing his hands on both of her knees, he spread them apart showcasing her virginal womanhood. Little Haley James so young and naïve but at the same time all woman. The look, the smell and eventually the taste intoxicated him like a powerful drug. She had never known such a feeling of pure bliss as he placed butterfly kisses all around her most private areas. With his finger he spread the tender folds apart, massaging the button of her sensuality as he licked and kissed her to her first orgasm. Her whimpers and moans only heightened his arousal but he could feel her body tensing beneath him.

"It's okay, Haley. Just feel, baby. Let it go. Let everything go. Please don't hold back."

His words and the super intense feeling between her legs was enough for her mind to tell her body to release. She did to his delight but he wasn't done yet. Pausing only briefly to retrieve a condom, he slid it over his massive and throbbing manhood. Putting the tip at her opening, he held her tightly as he slid into her warm, sweet tunnel. Both gasped at initial insertion and he muffled her cries with his kiss.

"It hurts", she breathed as moved slowly in and out.

"Do you want me to stop?"

She shook her head no and rubbed circles on his sweaty back. He made love to her, slow and gentle, in and out, each time sliding deeper inside. When it was over and he had reached his climax, his kissed her breasts one last time and held her as her entire body trembled. Only then when the cloud of ecstasy had long surpassed did he realize the severity of their, mainly his, actions.


	16. Just A Memory?

Nathan dribbled the basketball not noticing or caring that he was wide open for the steal. Always there to capitalize on an opponent's weakness, Lucas went up to block his younger brother's shot. Nathan, a million miles away, never saw it coming until it was too late. The ball was long gone and he was headed for pavement. Breaking a potentially nasty fall with his hands, Nathan fell to the court covered asphalt and cursed out loud.

"You okay, man?" Lucas asked as he ran over to check on his brother.

"I'm alright."

"What happened?"

"I don't know. I didn't see your block coming, I guess."

"I don't know, Nate. You've been kind of off all day. Is everything alright? It's like your mind is on vacation, dude. I just don't want you to get hurt, bro."

Nathan sighed as he wiped his sweaty face and hair on a towel.

"Luke, can we take a break? I need to talk to you."

Sensing the urgency in Nathan's voice, Lucas immediately complied, leading his young brother to a bench that sat between his private basketball court and pool area. It had been a nice touch added by Brooke, who was ever the little decorator.

"What's the deal, Nate? Tell me what's going on."

"It's Haley."

"What about her? Is she okay? How did court go?"

"They're gonna have Ricky's trial in a few months. It's pretty safe to say that bastard won't be making bail anytime soon."

"That's good to know. I just hope she's okay."

"It's what happened after court, Luke. Hales was pretty upset and we talked after dinner. I just want her to be okay, I only wanted to comfort her, you know? Poor thing's been having the hardest time with all this. Anyway, one thing led to another and I swear to God I didn't mean to but it sort of happened."

"It?"

"Yeah. I...I slept with her."

Lucas took a large gulp from his water bottle. "Damn, man. Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"That's pretty heavy. Dude, I don't know what to say. I know you mean well and you just want to help but Jesus. I don't want to be a Brooke and get all over your case, but was that smartest thing to do?"

"No."

"How are things now? What about afterwards? Do you love her?"

So many questions. The same things Nathan had asked himself a hundred times over ever since that night. Questions that seemingly had no apparent answer.

"This has really been messing with me. I don't know what I was thinking, Lucas. The problem is, we weren't thinking. It just sort of happened but it was definitely my fault more than hers. Afterwards, I felt really weird and guilty and stuff. I didn't want to be more of an asshole and leave her so I held her. She was shaking and crying. She, uh...she was a virgin."

"Oh shit", Lucas sighed. "Man!"

"I know, I know. The next day, we tried to be cool but how can you after that? It was awkward but still emotional. We didn't talk about it or anything and then I left for the game in New Orleans then I stopped by here on the way home."

"Do you love her?"

"No", Nathan sighed. "Not the way I am supposed to if we did something like that. I feel terrible for it. I feel like I cheated on Peyton."

"You didn't man. Peyton's gone. She's just a memory, a beautiful and special and wonderful memory but still a memory. Haley is a flesh and blood person. She's here and alive. You can say what you want but I know you. I know you really care about her. You wouldn't have helped her out so much if you didn't. There is nothing wrong with that. You have to move on, man. If your heart isn't ready yet, then fine, but be fair to Haley... and yourself. You owe her that much."

* * *

Haley turned the TV on to Chappelle's Show, her new favorite guilty pleasure. Although it was one of the funniest programs on television, it was hard to concentrate and enjoy Dave's wacky antics. There was something else weighing in on her mind. She couldn't stop thinking about Nathan and their beautiful night together. He had taken her virginity and it was every bit as magical as she had envisioned. She loved him, she always had. He was her soul, her only friend, her very lifeline and now her lover. True, it had been awkward for them right after but maybe because it had been such an unexpected event. She loved him with every fiber of her being and she knew he must have felt the same. The passion and feeling with which he made love to her proved that. The night had been so much more than physical. In any event, she had to know the truth. More importantly, it was time to confess her feelings to him.


	17. Confessions, Part I

Nathan came home to a dimly lit house. His entire placed smelled of vanilla and was illuminated in soft candlelight. His blue eyes wandered over to the dining room table where Haley was sitting quietly.

"I made dinner", she said softly.

"Thanks. Um, you didn't have to do that, Hales."

He dropped his bags and walked over to where she was. On the table was his plate already prepared. It consisted of chicken, steamed rice, mashed potatoes, homemade dinner rolls and a fresh cherry pie for dessert.

"I know...I wanted to. I wanted to do something nice for you. I hope you like it."

"It's, uh, nice. Thank you very much. It's sweet. You didn't have to go through all this trouble."

"It was no trouble", she responded as she pulled out his chair. "Welcome home."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and went to place a kiss on his lips. Last minute he turned and she kissed his cheek instead. Clearing her throat, she nervously joined him at the table where for the most part they ate in silence.

"You cooked supper, Hales. Don't worry about the dishes, I'll get them tomorrow. I'm kind of tired anyway. I'm gonna turn in."

"Did you have a good game?"

"Yeah. We won and that's the most important thing. My stats were pretty decent. 26 points, 14 rebounds, 5 assists. We always have a pretty good game when we play the Hornets. They're pretty cool guys."

"That's cool", Haley nodded and squirmed slightly in the awkward silence that followed.

"Well, thanks again, Haley. I really appreciate it. Home cooked meals like that don't come around too often on the road. It was delicious. Um, I guess I'll see you in the morning or whatever."

"Okay...uh, Nathan?"

"Yeah?" he answered, avoiding her eyes.

"Can you...can I...um, I missed you while you were gone. Will you hold me tonight?"

He fought the urge to say no even though every part of him was screaming it internally. God knew he didn't want to but he couldn't stand for her to hurt anymore either. Nathan could only nod as she followed him to his bedroom. He undressed and climbed in while she changed in the master bath. He prayed he'd be able to get through the night. Of course there had been other women in his life besides Peyton, even after he had moved in to the house. But there had been no other woman in his bed physically. That had always been the one place reserved specifically for Peyton.

Haley slid in under the sheets and snuggled up to Nathan's warmth. He always made her feel so happy and safe. He draped an arm around her but it would be a few fitful hours before sleep would ensue. He had a million things on his mind. Just inches away, Haley lay awake as well. She was once again in Nathan's arms but she wasn't stupid. Her womanly sixth sense could tell that things were just different.

The next morning Haley rolled over to an empty space behind her. There was a note posted to the fridge that read, "Gone to the gym. Be back soon." Sighing, she made her a fruit and cereal breakfast and went about feeding the dogs. After a shower and a couple of talk shows, Nathan returned home.

"Hey, how was your work out?"

"Good. I'm sore as hell and a little worn out. I'm gonna go hop in the shower."

"Want some company?" her mouth asked about ten miles ahead of her brain.

"Um, I'm just gonna be in and out real quick."

It was his polite way of saying no.

"Okay. I already took one anyway. Want to go to Raleigh afterwards? You know, get out of the house and everything."

"We'll see."

"Oh. And your mom called. Something about us having dinner over there tonight..."

"There is no us, Haley", Nathan blurted out.

The look of hurt and bewilderment in her eyes hit him like a punch to the gut.

"Nathan, I..."

"Listen. We have to talk. Look, I really care about you Haley and I think you know that. You are a wonderful person and friend and I just want to help you. I'll do anything in the world for you and you can crash here as long as you need but we are just friends."

"But..."

"The other night was a mistake. I'm sorry. I feel like a real prick because I took advantage of your vulnerability. That's not right and God knows I'm ashamed of myself for it but..."

"Nathan..."

"You are a wonderful girl, Hales. A sweet and special girl but we can't be together like this, not now, not the way you want it."

"I love you", she said through fresh tears.

"Don't say that. Oh God, please don't say that to me."

"But I do, Nathan. I always have", she cried, trying to wrap her arms around him as he pulled away.

"Haley, please. I can't, okay? I'm sorry I hurt you or misled you but...I can't, okay? I...I just don't love you."


	18. A Night of Clarity

"You don't mean that, Nathan. I know what I felt", she sobbed. "It was real between us and we connected. You can't deny that. You're afraid. You're afraid of me and you're afraid of us and of letting go of her."

"Stop it!" Nathan yelled. "Just be quiet! You don't know, okay? You don't know anything."

"I know you. I know who you are. My God, I have loved you all my life, Nathan. I know that you've grown into a dependable, respectful, gentle, honest, hard working, shy and kind man."

"Don't make me in to some larger than life saint, Haley. Right now I'm none of that. I'm just the selfish, insensitive prick that took your virginity."

"No", she whispered, backing away. "No..."

Not even being able to look at her, Nathan retreated to the custom bar adjoining his dining area where he poured himself a shot of Jack Daniels. Wiping away the tears, Haley put on her shoes and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked quietly.

"I can't stay here anymore."

Nathan cursed and walked over to her. "Look, Hales. I know I fucked up. I was wrong. I'm an asshole, okay? But I'm sorry. There is no reason for you to leave."

Haley laughed in spite of herself.

"How can you say that? You have helped me and taken care of me...my God, Nathan. Nobody has ever given of themselves the way you have to me. I respect that and I appreciate it. In a way you saved my life and there is no way I can ever repay you for your generosity. Ever since all that happened with Ricky, my life has been turned upside, it's like living in one fucked up nightmare. You didn't just rescue me from Ricky and that night, it was like you rescued me from my life...from my crappy little house, from the cafe...from me, everything that I am and that I have come to hate. And you let me stay here in this castle and for a minute you were like my knight in shining armor sent to rescue me from the darkness and bring me into your perfect little kingdom. And I've been living in this Wonderland ever since. The ironic thing is, none of this was ever real. The only thing real in this whole thing has been my love for you, Nathan. And what happened the other night was so beautiful to me. It's something I have dreamt about ever since I was a little girl. Maybe it didn't mean the same to you but I'll always have that special memory. I guess it's just back to real life now. My reality is so different from yours but we can't just pretend it never happened. At least I can't. That's why I can't be here anymore, I can't be around you like this. I have to go."

"No, you don't."

"Yes...I do."

"Where will you go?" Nathan sighed.

"I'll be fine."

She wiped her eyes one last time and opened the front door.

"What about your stuff? You're gonna need the rest of your clothes and everything."

"I have my things, what I need. The rest of the stuff, what you bought me, thank you but it's not mine to keep, Nate."

She gave him one last look before she left, closing the door behind her.

* * *

Haley sat at Nathan's favorite booth in the back of the cafe. It had been quite a day. Tears slid down her face as the memories came flashing back through her mind. Once again, nothing would ever be the same. She had left Nathan's house. He didn't love her and she couldn't stand to stay there out of his pity for her. In his heart he had felt that he had taken advantage of her body. In hers she felt she had taken advantage of his hospitality. She had no choice but to leave and had ended up the only place she could go, over to Karen's temporarily closed café, which she still had the keys to. More than a job it had always been the simple home away from home, the one place that had always served as some sort of safe haven. She sat quietly at the place, Nathan's special place, the one he'd had for years. As the tears silently began to flow, Haley secretly wondered if anything would ever be okay again. 


	19. Desperately Seeking Closure

"Nathan! Nathan, open the door! It's me, Brooke!"

There was no answer but she knew he was home.

"Nathan, you may as well open up because I'm not leaving until you do. I want to talk to you."

He muttered a curse word as he realized the relentless banging and screaming would persist until he gave in. He finally opened the door.

"Sorry", he mumbled a lie. "I was in the back and I couldn't hear you. What's up?"

"You look like shit."

"Thanks. It's always nice to see you as well, Brooke. Might I add you're looking just gorgeous today."

"I didn't mean it like that", she said, sitting on the couch beside him. "I'm just worried about you. All your friends are."

"I appreciate that but I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself."

"Really? Is that why you've been all mopey and depressed lately?"

"I am not mopey and depressed."

"All you do is sulk. You're in a bad mood, you never want to hang out with your friends or your brother anymore for that matter and whatever that's going on is starting to affect you on the court. You've worked and waited your whole career to make it in the NBA. Nate, this should be the happiest time of your life. I know you think I'm nosy sometimes and maybe I am but I'm your sister in law and your friend and I'm concerned and I love you. You can't go on like this. You've got to straighten up, kid."

"I know", he said. "I feel guilty, like a real ass."

"With Haley?"

"With Peyton."

"Peyton is gone", Brooke said softly. "You can't spend the rest of your life living in the shadow of that relationship. It's not healthy. Besides you know Peyton would not want to see you go through this. She loved you so much and she'd want you to be happy."

"I know."

"Do you? I don't think so because you have a beautiful, wonderful woman out there who loves you and I think you love her. I didn't give her much credit at first because you know I'm skeptical of everything and everyone but I got to know her and she's a sweet person. Don't turn your back on that. You've got to make your peace, Nathan, with Peyton and Haley and everyone, especially yourself. You can't go around pretending that you don't care about anyone because one day you're gonna shut your heart off so much, that you really will feel that way."

Nathan hated to admit it to himself but he knew Brooke's words were wise and true. It was the best advice from the most unlikely source. In order to make things right with Haley, he first had to make peace with himself. There was only one place he knew in the whole world that would give him that type of closure.

* * *

Nathan kneeled down on the grass, his palms gliding over the smooth marble

stone that read:

_Beloved Daughter, Granddaughter, and Friend_

_An Angel on Earth and an Angel In Heaven_

_Always In Our Hearts_

_Peyton Christine Sawyer_

_March 10, 1982 - May 4,2004_

"Hey, Peyton, it's me, Nate. I just felt like seeing and talking to you. I know I talk to you all the time in my heart but today I just felt like being closer to you. I miss you so much and I will always love you. You know that, or at least I hope you do. I guess you know what's been going on. I've been a jerk lately and I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt Haley. She is a great girl but I guess you know that too. I've done a lot to protect and help her but it's more than that. I fell in love along the way. This is the first time I've admitted that to anyone even myself. I know we weren't together when you passed Pey but it's like you were the only girl for me. When I found someone so unexpectedly and so soon after you, it scared the hell out of me. Brooke says you'd want me to move on and be happy. I know that's true because I would want the same for you. Instead of feeling so sad I guess I should be thankful. I'm a pretty lucky guy in a lot of aspects but most especially for having had you in my life. I've been so busy taking care of Haley that I didn't realize she was taking care of me too, or at least my heart. Peyton, I just ask that you help me. Let it be alright. Help me to do the right thing."

A summer breeze blew throughout the cemetery and Nathan closed his eyes. For a faint second a whiff of a sweet smelling peach scent whizzed past his nose. Shannon immediately opened his eyes but no one was there. He was alone and there were not even scented flowers nearby. A chill ran up his spine as he remembered how he had always loved to hold Peyton after a shower. She always bathed and washed her hair in peach fragrance soap and shampoo. His surprise quickly turned to joy as he knew that was Peyton's way of letting him know it was okay. She had promised to always be with him and anyone who ever knew Peyton Sawyer knew that she always kept her promises.

"Thank you", he whispered. "I love you, Pey and I'll never forget you. Never. That's my promise.


	20. Confessions, Part II

_"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Nathan, happy birthday to you..."_

Nathan's mother, Deb, snapped photos as he blew out the 23 candles positioned on his birthday cake.

"Did you make a wish, son?" Deb Scott smiled.

"I did, Mom", he said with a thoughtful grin.

"Alright now have a seat and we'll get to the cake in a minute. Guys, we got cake, homemade ice cream, potato salad, ham, candied yams, tossed salad, fried chicken and Lucas is over there on the grill with the ribs and burgers. You kids eat up and enjoy", Nathan's grandmother, Mae Scott announced to the guests.

Nathan smiled. Ever since he was a child his parents and grandparents had always turned his birthdays into extravagant events complete with enough delicious home cooked food to feed an army.

"The big 2-3", Lucas grinned, slapping his brother on the back. "You're an old man, dude. You're starting to catch up with me now."

"I know. Thanks bro, for the surf board. That was a hell of a birthday present. I appreciate it."

"No problem, little man. I just hope despite everything that has happened this year good and bad, that you're okay. I hope this day worked out for you, Nathan."

"It did. Didn't turn out to be so bad after all. I got my health, my career, beautiful home, fancy car, enough money, great friends and a wonderful family. I'm surrounded by a lot of things that I love. It's been a great day and thanks for getting with my moms and my grams to plan all this out but after we all eat, I have to dip out early."

"What's up, man? Everything alright?"

"Great. Never been better but I have a little personal business to take care of."

Lucas winked and nodded knowingly as the two brothers rejoined the party.

* * *

Haley gasped for air as she took a sniff of the new window cleaner Karen had ordered. It smelled strong enough to break the window but it was a "new and improved" product advertised overseas and Karen had insisted that they try it out. She had recently returned from Italy totally refreshed from a new experience and full of exciting ideas. Haley liked seeing Karen this way when she was happy and things were going right. No one deserved it more than her.

It had been another big week. Just the day before, Friday, they had been summoned back to court where Ricky and his lawyers had decided to cop a plea. He pled guilty to aggravated sexual assault and one count of battery. It was disappointing to know the attempted rape charge was dropped but at least the son of a bitch would be off the street for ten years. Even her mother had approached her tearfully after court offering a million apologies and promises to change and get clean. Haley had heard it all before but that was her mother. She loved her. Although she would surely never forget, she hoped time would allow her to forgive.

Haley tied a pink and white bandana around her hair and sunk to her hands and knees. It was hot and she wiped her sweaty palms on her shorts as she tied her tee shirt just over her belly button. Not only did the cleaning concoction smell awful, it went on pretty thick. Shit, Haley thought to herself. It was gonna take a few bottles of Windex just to get rid of that "new and improved" generic blob. Spraying the windows, she furiously scrubbed with an old rag. She jumped as she saw a figure standing in the darkness. Her heart sighed as she recognized Nathan. With shaking hands she opened the door to let him in.

"Hi. I figured you might be here. I was looking for you and I saw the light on."

"Yeah. I just wanted to do some after hours cleaning", she said, self consciously fiddling with the rag around her head.

"Place looks nice, uh, you...look nice", Nathan stammered as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Thanks...um, happy birthday."

"Did Mom get you an invitation?"

"She did but I was um, busy, today."

"Oh that's cool. It was nice. I got a lot of cool stuff from fans and friends and my family. Luke bought me a new surf board and..."

"Did you come all the way over here to tell me about your gifts?"

"No", Nathan sighed as the moment of truth had arrived. "I came over here to admit I acted like a prick. I came over here to apologize for hurting your feelings. I came over here to tell you I lied. Hales, I lied when I said I didn't love you. And you called me on it. You were exactly right when you said I was scared. I was a coward afraid to move forward and let go of the past. But I'm sorry. You are a beautiful, wonderful, special girl and I'm falling in love with you. I screwed up but I'm sorry. I want another chance to help you and protect you and love you."

Haley put her face to her hands and sobbed. She couldn't believe her ears. Here was the one man she had loved all her life saying the things she had been praying to hear him say. Still she was so scared to love and trust him again.

"You hurt me. Gosh, you really hurt me Nathan. And as much as I feel for you and as much as I want to believe you, I can't just put myself out there like that again. You can't just waltz in here with a little speech and expect everything to be okay. I don't know, Nathan, I..."

"Take it slow, Hales. I don't deserve to just walk back into your life but maybe we can talk on the phone. I'll drop by when I'm home and maybe I can cook dinner for you sometime. We can date, spend more time getting to know one another."

"I don't know what you want from me, Nathan."

"I want you, Haley. I want all of you. But I guess I have no right to ask for that now so all I can do is just ask for another chance. I want to be able to give back to you all the love you gave me."


	21. Epilogue

**_Author's Note: This is the end...finally!! Hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I am a HUGE Naley fan so look forward to more fics in the future...I'm always writing something or another. Also thanks for the support and the reviews. It meant a lot! I'd love to hear final thoughts...Last but not least, one more "adult" warning "R" for this last chapter._**

Haley sat atop the bar dressed sexy in a low cut black dress that flowed at the bottom. She smiled as she felt his lips on her thighs and the gust of air she felt when her dress was raised up. She shuddered as she felt kisses on her hips, a tongue tracing the path of her thong. Moaning, she released her breasts from the confinement of the dress and shivered as he caressed them, rolling the nipples between his thumb and forefinger.

"I want you", she cried out almost out of desperation.

"Not here", he whispered.

Grinning he carried her to his bedroom and placed her gingerly on the bed as if she were a fragile package. It was the perfect ending to a perfect night that was the result of a perfect few months. Learning to trust Nathan again had been the hardest decision Haley ever had to make. The questions would always loom in the back of her mind...had she done the right thing? Did he really love her? Would they ever be free of Peyton? Only time would tell and months spent first casually dating, then moving to where the couple was virtually inseparable had proved that maybe Nathan Scott and Haley James were meant to be. He could give her everything...security, a nice home, plenty of money...the whole world. She could only give him her heart. It turned out that was enough.

"I want to make love to you the proper way this time."

And he did. Afterwards there was no sense of obligation or awkwardness, only love and sheer joy. It had been a tough few months but they had made it. Just like he had suggested, they took it slow and it had all worked out. They were coming along, happy and newly in love. Haley still spent her days helping Karen out with the café while cherishing and anxiously awaiting those precious days when Nathan would be home. When he was they spent their time talking, taking long walks, playing with the dogs, enjoying endless days as the beach... and making love. Day by day as she grew closer to the man and not just the NBA superstar, she fell deeper in love. And as each moment passed, he realized just how much Haley meant to him.

"I love you, Nate...so much", she whispered, letting her fingers trace his jaw line.

"And I love you too, Hales."

She smiled and it brought comfort to her because she knew he truly meant those words. Nathan smiled as well. For in her beautiful eyes, he saw his future.

The End


End file.
